Small t Trauma

Sitting with my computer one quiet morning I focused on the Biology of Trauma workshop speaker’s words . . . 

“Feel the tension in your body, locate it.   Focus on it for fifteen seconds, only fifteen seconds, and while you’re doing that, envision the rolling waves of the ocean.”

Hmmm, I thought, and put my hands up to my aching shoulders.  Ok, fifteen seconds feeling the pain roll in with the ocean waves. 

Feeling my aching shoulders and thinking of the favoritism shown to my sister, thinking of the care extended to her, and the lack of discipline she experienced growing up, and the financial rewards she’s received . . . it all came rushing up in that short time. Then, following instructions, on the sixteenth second I let the pain roll out with the waves and it was gone.  

Not only was the pain from the aching shoulders gone, but so was the root cause of that pain which was some of my small t trauma.  

“You don’t have to go through this process for every incident of pain you have,” the Dr. said, “but once you start the process you will find the trauma dissipates in batches.”

Well . . . I’m here to say it works and for the first time in a long time I have had two nights of deep sleep lasting at least seven hours a night.

This experience has been so enlightening after a lifetime of small t trauma.  I don’t propose I have lived the life of someone in a war torn country, or someone who has lost her parents at a young age, or someone who has been forced into a life of crime, or some other horrific trauma . . . no, I have not had capital T trauma, but I have had trauma and I needed to heal.

Hopefully, my experiences of  One more day, one more hour, one more minute, one more task thinking will come less often.  And when they do, I will have the tools to cope with them.  Life is so much more beautiful when I live in the moment.  

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