Annie’s initial email on Match went something like this . . . “So, whatcha doing today?
Making tiny voodoo men out of hay and sticking them with hair pins so it tickles them?
Cruising down Hwy 2 standing on top of your Mercedes sticking out your tongue?
Or maybe chewing your dog’s toys to see if she gets jealous?”
Some men found it funny and tried to respond in kind. Others just X’d her out and went on with their hunt. She found she wasn’t interested in the too serious ones anyway but if they kept on being too silly and had no meat in their messages she called it quits too.
Invariably the questions from the men turned to amorous activities. It seems that’s right there up front in most men’s minds. Annie called her mother and after a few pleasantries got down to business.
“Mom, I’m getting so frustrated with the men on here. We haven’t even met and they start to get really personal.”
“All men are roosters,” her mother said.
Here she was wanting to meet for coffee at Tim’s and he was dimming the lights in the bedroom. Well, in a way, she thought, it is rather flattering. Men are just braver and seem to want to conquer their fears and climb that mountain whereas women set up camp at the base and spend half a year or so picking the best possible route to the height of the elevation.
And then she remembered her good friend Frank who told her he felt he was “going to die” because almost a year had passed and he could think of nothing else. “I just want to relieve the pressure, then I can get on with other things,” he said.
That gave Annie a whole new perspective. Seems pretty cruel, she thought. We are designed this way to procreate and somehow past that birthing phase we still crave. What does a person do when they’re looking for someone and don’t want to seem prudish . . . or cruel, however you want to look at it, but have Christian values all the same.
I’ll just spend time on my knees, she thought.